Just like a boat in the water, we have a course that we must follow in our Christian walk. Sometimes it is easier said than done, but like a boat or a ship there is a course it must follow to get to its destination. God uses these things in our lives to get to that destination.

We all have suffered - some physically, some emotionally. Both kinds of pain are real. We just have to learn how to live as Christ would with dealing with this pain.

A number of people are aware of my testimony. How I was badly beat up spiritually, by another woman in my past. Well, the other day I saw her and her husband out in a local store. I was doing my banking. When I saw them, I intentionally tried avoiding them.

They were in the checkout in the front of the store, so I went to the back of the store and tried to wait until they had time to get out of the store. Well, I didn't have all day, so I ended up at the front and I needed stamps. I was confronted with my hurt, because I would have no choice but to interact.

I spoke briefly to the husband, but I could not bring myself to say ANYTHING, not even 'Hi' or 'Hello,' to the wife who had so badly damaged me. When I left, and I couldn't get out fast enough, my legs were wobbly and my heart racing!

The first thing I did was to do a spirit check. I knew I had failed a pop quiz with not being able to speak to her. But I did ask myself these questions-- Are you angry with her? No. Do you have any bitterness towards her? None that I could discern. Then why did you react the way you did? The answer... The pain or hurt is still very real to me.

People in church today are very real and most of us are hurting. We have wounds that have been inflicted upon us by ourselves and others. Wounds that go deep and that can cripple us.

One of the VCR tapes that my children have is Psalty: Camping. In it there is a character whose name is Farley McFirefly. He is a firefly that glow's for the Lord. He is handicapped or physically impaired. One of his wings was damaged and he can no longer fly. So how can he be useful to God you ask?

Well, since he still has the ability to glow, he uses that to glorify God. When two of the children come up missing, the others use Farley to light the night. Psalty carries him, but he provides the light to see the way.

Many people have physical crippling. My mother-in-law is one of them. She had polio as a young child and it crippled her right arm. She does not have full use of this arm. She became a Christian shortly after John & I did. Although she is 'crippled' physically and cannot serve in the same ways as what some might with physical lifting, she does not sit on her backside and say 'woe is me.' She runs her church library table, fixes food, baby-sits her grandkids and does visitation to some family members who can't get out. She still works full-time, still drives her car.

Some of us have been crippled spiritually. I personally think that this is sometimes the harder one to over come. The other is on the outside and apparent usually to everybody, so more people are usually willing to help. But what happens sometimes, is people who think they are well intentioned say something that just plain outright hurts. Then we start to sway. James calls it being double-minded.

James 1:2-8
Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials
of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must find its work so that you may be
mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom,
he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and
it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord;
he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

We are tested regularly to see if we will persevere in the will of God. Sometimes the enemy, Satan, will use others in the church to cause us to 'get off course.' They come in many forms. Mine was a direct attack to my character. She felt she needed to correct me because I was way off base; that I wanted everything to be my way. But that was a wrong assessment of the situation on her part. You don't know everything that is in a person's heart. And she obviously didn't know mine.

But when this happened, I had a choice. This hurt! I was deeply wounded! I thought about having nothing more to do with church at all after that. I just had been so hurt by the whole thing. I really wanted to run, but I loved the Lord too much. I didn't want to turn my back on Him!

So I had a choice. James says in verse six that he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind: When I was thinking about tossing it all in, throwing away God, because of one person. I was being tossed about by the wind. I was heading off course.

But this was a trial and I had a choice to make. I could choose to run, hide if you will, and have nothing to do with the church again because of one person. Or I could choose to serve God with All my Heart and go back to the church. I am sad to say, that it took me a few weeks to make up my mind. I knew that I wanted to serve God, but I didn't want to be hurt again. I was doubting! I was doubting that God could protect me! I was doubting that I was worthy! I was doubting that Jesus loved me! All because of one insensitive, unthinking person, who in her own mind had determined that this was 'best' for me!

The moment came when I finally had to make a choice. I couldn't stay double-minded any longer. I finally made up my mind that I was going to serve Christ no matter what! I came to the place that I decided where I would align my life with His will for me, and no matter what, I was living for Him.

All of this to say, that people can and do affect us. We are only human. Jesus, who is God but was also man, was effected my man. Even though he knew that Judas was going to turn on Him. I still think it hurt when He actually walked through the motions. I believe that it grieved Jesus to see one of His flock turn on Him. A Friend even! Oh how it hurt Jesus when Judas did that to Him. Yes, Jesus knew ahead of time, but that still did not stop the pain. And then He was on the cross grieving for our sins! Can you imagine the hurt, the emotional pain that Jesus felt. And all this for us! But He still loved us.

People can and do affect us in our lives. It is our choice as to how we respond to the situation. We might end up crippled or with a thorn in our side, but if we give it to God, like Farley McFirefly gave what he had, then God can use it for our good and the good of others. Don't be double-minded. Stay set on the course that God is showing you. Walk in His will for your life.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your
own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and
He will make your paths straight. Proverbs 3:5-6

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the
Lord. Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans
to give you a hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

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03/25/07 06:04 AM